REGARDING THE URINARY STREAM

Men have it much easier than women when it comes to emptying their bladder.

Access to the outlet apparatus is easier, requiring only minimal disruption of clothing, and the task can be performed almost anywhere while standing up.  Boys can have fun aiming their stream at happenstance targets or seeing how far it will reach.  With a full bladder and the right name, they can even spell it out in the snow.  However in their middle age, men must be content with only their initials, and when they reach their 60s and beyond, most men are happy if they don’t get their shoes wet.

There is price to pay for this youthful convenience, and it is called Prostatism or BPH for benign prostatic hypertrophy.  The prostate gland is located at the outlet of the bladder and surrounds the urethra, the tube that carries the urine from the bladder to the end of the penis.  While most living things tend to decrease in size with age, the prostate has a tendency to grow (hypertrophy), and in doing so it can impede the outflow of urine from the bladder.  The result is a weak urinary stream, difficulty starting the stream, and incomplete emptying of the bladder requiring frequent “pit stops” and getting up several times at night to pee.  About 40% of men experience this problem.

Unfortunately I fell into that 40%, and for a while the only thing keeping my shoes dry was the daily medicine I took.  But the writing was on the wall (no pun intended); I knew I would eventually need some form of surgical intervention.

And that is how I came to enter the world of “TUNA”, transurethral needle ablation of the prostate. Actually not the entire prostate, just the rim of tissue so inconveniently compressing the urethral outflow. Sensibilities prevent me from going into the details of this procedure, only to say that they do things that civilized people should not do to one another. Probes, needles, catheters, and radio waves are employed in the most creative manner. The good news is it is over in an hour. The bad news is a catheter remains in place for a week.

Fortunately when it comes to pain and discomfort I am a tiger!  OK, so I felt a little faint when I got off the table after the procedure - even tigers get a little woozy at times. But during the procedure I cried for ONLY 3 minutes when the good Dr. injected my prostate with Lidocaine. And during the transurethral treatment I did not scream and kick him more than 3 or 4 times. Well, maybe 5.  I really don’t recall with certainty, but I got the distinct impression when I left that he was less than happy with the prospect of seeing me again for follow-up.

My dear wife Patience drove me home, and between her tender care, Percocet, and my steely constitution, I survived the entire ordeal.  It is now 7 years later and my shoes are still dry.

January 16, 2008... revised 12-2-14