I’M SORRY

Why do some people have such a hard time saying, “I’m sorry”?  Last year I wrote a column that, in part, addressed the willingness of America to apologize for any of its misdeeds.  A number of readers took offense that I would suggest that America apologize for anything.  I don’t understand that attitude, and can only speculate on why it exists.  Thinking about it, it has occurred to me that perhaps the fault was mine, and I failed to properly and clearly articulate my position.  So I thought I would give myself a “do over”.

Let’s start by thinking about people, and not countries.  Imagine 2 individuals, good, ordinary people, each having been confronted with the results of an ill-advised decision.  In other words, they screwed up.  One of them stands up and admits his mistake, and takes responsibility for his part in the whatever.  He is contrite, and genuinely sorry, and his apology does nothing to diminish all of the good he has done.  In fact it only adds to his stature.

The other refuses to admit to anything, blames others, offers an array of excuses, and responds by talking about all the good he has done.  He is anything but contrite, and in fact is angry that he is being confronted with this.

Which of these two individuals would you respect, the one who is willing to accept responsibility for his actions, or the one who chooses to dodge and deny.  What does it take to be able to say I’m sorry: a sense of responsibility, a strong sense of self-assurance, integrity, honesty, and a willingness to become a better person? Now let’s replace people with countries, in our case, America.  Does America have what it takes to be willing to acknowledge its misdeeds, or are we insecure and lacking the necessary integrity to accept such responsibility? 

America has no need to apologize for its core values, and it efforts to make this world a better place for everyone.  Offering a heartfelt apology when one is due does not diminish all that is good about our country.  We have no need to be insecure in what we are, and what we strive to be.  We share the imperfections and contradictions that define humanity, and only by facing up to them can we become better than we are.

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