“Vote for my candidate
because he shares your values.”
How often have you heard that during the recent election campaign? “Values”,
a word tossed about with a demeaning casualness in today’s public discourse but
rarely defined, leaving the term open to a variety of interpretations. I suspect most of the time it is code
word used to reach the base audience of the speaker or writer, so there is no
reason to clarify or define what these values are. In today’s cultural cauldron
when a politician talks of “values” he is most likely referring to one, or all,
of the following: homosexuality,
gay marriage, and abortion. By definition, any position on these issues can be
held in high value, and it is easy to understand why they have become so
contentious.
My concern is not with
these issues, but that they have come to be the public definition of our
cultural and social values, at the expense of others. There are several that I consider far more important than
one’s beliefs about sexuality and abortion. There are values that reflect our
behavior, attitude, and treatment of others, values that determine the
character of our society.
HONESTY & INTEGRITY
I see this as the
bedrock of all of the others. The
concept of honesty, as it applies to our interactions with others, is not a
difficult one to understand. Honesty also means not misrepresenting facts or
purposely omitting facts that do not support your position. An even more important aspect of
honesty is being honest with our selves.
If we cannot do this, then we cannot be honest with others. Self-deception is dangerously
easy, but recognizing and acknowledging it is difficult.
Honesty also means not
misrepresenting yourself, pretending to be something else for purposes of
deception and/or personal gain.
CIVILITY
Without civility we
degrade into an antagonistic, bombastic society, awash with name-calling and
inflammatory rhetoric, which effectively precludes thoughtful dialog as well as
mutual respect. It is easy to be
polite and courteous to those we like and who share our sentiment. The challenge is to extend that same
treatment to those with whom we disagree.
THOUGHTFULNESS
Imagine how different
our national politics would be if thoughtfulness was valued. Thoughtfulness
should be at the top of the list of values to be cultivated and nurtured. It is a rare occasion that does not
allow us time to think before we speak or act. Even more important is how we formulate our opinions and
ideas, and how we respond to those that differ from our own. Thoughtfulness can prevent inflammatory
and emotional exchanges with others.
It gives us pause to reflect on the nature and validity of opinions and
ideas we confront, our own, and those of others. It provides the time and space
needed to develop respect for conflicting beliefs, and to critically examine
our own.
RESPECT – UNDERSTANDING – TOLERANCE
Politically and
culturally our society has become increasingly divisive, leading to
antagonistic and inflammatory dialog on many issues. My concern is that some people come to see this as the only
way – or an accepted way – to deal with conflict and disagreements. But when we take the time to quietly
exchange ideas and beliefs we usually find that what we have in common is far
more than what we disagree on. We
need to learn to respect those who disagree with us, by leaning heavily on our
shared commonality.
This can be
accomplished by developing listening skills, to hear what is being said,
without immediately responding defensively and reiterating our own feelings and
ideas. The person disagreeing with
you probably feels as deeply and passionately about his or her position or
belief as you do.
I
am not proposing that we ignore our differences; that would be neither possible
nor desirable. On the contrary, we
should, learn from one another by embracing them and selecting the best that
each has to offer. This will not happen until we embrace these values. Without them, partisanship and distrust
flourishes, preventing meaningful compromise. And a Democracy representing over 300 million people cannot
survive without its leadership compromising on its political and fiscal
policies, and its citizens respecting religious differences.
Unfortunately,
for someone whose primary interest is personal gain and not the common good,
none of this would be of interest.
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