IT IS WHAT IT IS

Writing about the presence of so much pain and suffering in the world, a friend asked in his blog post, “… what the hell do we do with REALITY?  What do we do with these Job-like questions and this Job-like anguish we feel in the midst of this REALITY? Like Rilke, I live these questions awaiting the answers that do not readily come.” 

The anguish and the questions are timeless, weighing on the human mind since its emergence into its present level of consciousness. From the very beginning man has turned to God in an attempt to find purpose and meaning in the world and in their lives. Beliefs in an “Almighty” have evolved along with the rest of civilization, but the basic tenets of a transcendent deity has persisted, and today millions of men and women believe in the presence of a loving God in their attempt to understand why there is so much pain and suffering in the world.

Nature has no purpose; it is morally neutral.  Ours is a world of beautiful vistas and exquisite sunsets, as well as swamps, deadly diseases, and natural catastrophes.   Life has no divine purpose other than the instinct for survival.  All life fulfills a role determined by evolution.  Human beings, sitting at the pinnacle of biological evolution, are complex creatures, capable of love and hate, generosity and greed, and good and evil.  History reveals the incredible range of human behavior.

But, humans have the distinct capacity to question, to think abstractly, and to imagine.  We can imagine a world without pain, a world filled with love and not evil, and a world where justice prevails. We are cursed with the ability to imagine a better world, one that does not exist.  We recognize our frailties and helplessness in the face of this world and turn to a loving God for comfort and answers.  We look to Him for the justice that we so desperately need.  But for many, this very belief raises questions and anguish – how to reconcile the pain and suffering in a world created by a loving deity.

We cannot change the ways of the world, and I don’t know how much we can change human behavior. I think the best we can do is to live our lives encouraging, loving, and teaching one another to the extent we can, using whatever skills and/or resources we have.  History tells us we have made some progress, but there is so much further to go. 

I have faith in man’s potential for goodness.  I have faith in people like my friend who has prompted this narrative with his own questions and anguish.  The anguish never goes away, but the questions become how do we make the world better, rather than why is it the way it is.

Standing on their Shoulders

They had little to give but themselves, which they gave freely and abundantly.  Josephine, who never knew her father, at age eleven had to leave her home, quit school, and move into an apartment with three older brothers to assume all household duties.  Spartaco, known to all as Duke, lost his mother when he was eight years old. The youngest of four brothers, he left school after the eighth grade to work on the family farm, while his brothers and 3 older sisters completed high school and college or business school.  Life on the small farm for my parents was defined by unrelenting hard work, financial insecurity, and more than their share of  personal disappointments and illnesses.  Comfort and happiness were found in their large, extended family and friends.

It took forty years of living for me to fully appreciate all that these two remarkable people have given to me.

I am 76 years old, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of my parents.  (My mother died in December, 1991, and my father in the autumn of 1995.)  I don’t know if this is unusual for someone my age, if it is because I was an only child, or if it’s because I am such a sentimental softy.  I suspect the real reason is because they were remarkable people, and that they gave me so much.  Ironically, in spite of all the writing that I do, writing about them is very difficult for me because I’m afraid I will not do them the justice they deserve.

But I believe that I am the person I am because of my parents. Whatever I have accomplished of worth, and may yet accomplish, is the result of the gifts given to me by my family. 

The greatest of these gifts was a sense of self worth and self-esteem, which have allowed me to choose some of the difficult paths I have followed in my life.  I believe there is no greater gift parents can give to their children than a strong sense of their own self worth.

My parents taught me about love; they taught me about tolerance and forgiveness, and they taught me about humility.  They showed me that a person of worth treats everyone with the same respect and warmth, and that behavior toward others is determined by their humanity and not by their social position or importance.

They never spoke about these beliefs; they simply lived them because that is who they were.  Pretention was foreign to them.

I believe my life is a reflection of these two remarkable people, and I want it to be worthy of them.  My greatest responsibilities have been to live a life honoring their gifts and to pass these gifts on to my children and loved ones. 

After 76 years I’m still standing on their shoulders.

About Love...from Have I Told You Today That I Love You

Love between a man and a woman is an illogical, irrational phenomenon that is far beyond my ability to describe or explain: it is hard work.

Falling in love can be quite easy; maintaining that love demands our time and energies

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Is it naive to think that as individuals we can make a difference in this immense world in which we live?  I don’t think so; it may be infinitesimally small, but we touch the world when we touch one another.  Every day, with every encounter with someone we have the opportunity to make a difference.  The smallest act, the briefest encounter, carries with it limitless, and un-imaginable potential to reach far beyond its simple beginning.  We make the world better or worse, by the way we interact with the people around us.

There are the obvious acts of kindness we provide, extending a helping hand, and offering support and friendship in time of need.  This can be done anonymously from a distance, or intimately with personal intensity, depending on the circumstances.  As important as these acts are, they are episodic, and generated by specific needs.  We can do more.

We can shine a light on others; lifting them up and making them feel good about themselves.  We do this by listening, by supporting and encouraging, and by being honest and not posturing or trying to impress.  Love and respect should be the foundation of all interactions, modified of course by personal history, a love that leads us to try to understand and accept people for who and what they are, as well as encourage them to achieve their own self hood.

There are those whose behavior casts a shadow of darkness over others: naysayers who predict failure and can only see the downside of anything - complainers, whose only concern is their own problems, and are delighted to share them with anyone who will listen – belittlers who need to mock others in order to feel good about themselves – converters who need to convince others that they must see things as they do, and the actors, whose main concern is to impress others.

A dear friend, Hal Owens, a retired Methodist minister, has coined the terms “star people” and “shadow people” to describe this behavior.  Each of us can make the world a better place if we maximize our star behavior and minimize the shadows we cast.

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY

Religions that categorize individuals based on their beliefs ARE divisive, harmful, and potentially dangerous. Love is inclusive.