ALONE WITH MYSELF
2013
Interesting things have
been happening to me over the past four or five years, some of them physical,
but many of them not. The subjective changes share a common theme – moving
inward in my search for meaning and direction in these later years.
With each year, a bit of
the world around me seems to melt away, leaving me increasingly alone, but not
in an unpleasant way. I have become less involved in neighborhood and community
affairs, preferring the solitude of my studio and study. My focus now is more
on moving inward. I spend as much time looking back as I do looking ahead,
trying to understand what I have accomplished and, the people I have
encountered, wondering how it all fits into this later stage of my life. I am
convinced that there is a common thread running through all of our years, and
perhaps understanding that can be a helpful guide in navigating the future.”
This morning the word
“isolated” best describes how I feel. Age, location, and circumstances
contribute to this, but mostly it is the result of my desire to move inward. There
is comfort in considering this as one more period of transition in a life of
transitions, leading to an eventual resting place for my soul.
I continue to enjoy
sharing food and wine (should read – pasta and wine) with our friends, although
with Patience working full time we cannot entertain as often as we would like.
I prefer the intimacy of smaller gatherings of friends and acquaintances to
larger social functions. At this halfway point I can safely say the eighth
decade continues to be full of surprises with its unanticipated changes. I can
only wonder, what’s coming next?
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