A FUTURE BEYOND IMAGINATION
May, 2015
Who among us has not
exercised their ability to imagine and/or fantasize about their future? From
the time I had the mental capacity to do so I often imagined my future. I saw
myself in medical school and imagined what life would be like as an intern and resident.
I imagined my first medical practice years before It came to be, and when
Patience and I decided to move to the country my mind was filled with notions
and images of country living. I was living in Paducah months before I was
living in Paducah. What ever it was to be, I could envision the next chapter in
my life or the next stage of the journey…until now.
Over the past several
years the future has been quietly slipping away from me. I can no longer
clearly imagine what it holds for me. I’m not even sure I know what I would
like it to be. For the first time I have no long term plans to lean on beyond
my current studio projects. It has occurred to me that my future is in the
canvas on the easel or the watercolor in progress on my drawing table, or perhaps
the essay on ageing that I have been struggling with for the past several
months. I will occasionally get caught up in a gust of enthusiasm over a new
project and reclaim at least some vision of what may lie ahead for me, but it
is never sustainable. I’m being forced to do something I have never been very
good at doing…living in the moment.
It is all a bit
disconcerting.
Arch. Drawing #32
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