NOTES FROM THE 8TH DECADE #26

Standing on their Shoulders    

2015

 They had little to give but themselves, which they gave freely and abundantly.  Josephine, who never knew her father, at age eleven had to leave her home, quit school, and move into an apartment with three older brothers to assume all household duties. Spartaco, known to all as Duke, lost his mother when he was eight years old. The youngest of four brothers, he left school after the eighth grade to work on the family farm, while his brothers and 3 older sisters completed high school and college or business school. Unrelenting hard work, financial insecurity, and more than their share of personal disappointments and illnesses defined their life on that small farm. Comfort and happiness were found in their large, extended family and friends.

It took forty years of living for me to fully appreciate all that these two remarkable people have given to me.

My mother died in December 1991, and my father in the autumn of 1995. I am 76 years old, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of my parents. I don’t know if this is unusual for someone my age, if it is because I was an only child, or if it’s because I am such a sentimental softy. I suspect the real reason is because they were remarkable people, and that they gave me so much. Ironically, in spite of all the writing that I do, writing about them is very difficult for me because I’m afraid I will not do them the justice they deserve.

I believe that I am the person I am because of my parents. Whatever I have accomplished of worth, or may yet accomplish, is the result of the gifts given to me by my family. 

The greatest of these gifts was a sense of self worth and self-esteem, which have allowed me to choose some of the difficult paths I have followed in my life. I believe there is no greater gift parents can give to their children than a strong sense of their own self worth.

My parents taught me about love; they taught me about tolerance and forgiveness, and they taught me about humility. They showed me that a person of worth treats everyone with the same respect and warmth, and that behavior toward others is determined by their humanity and not by their social position or importance.

They never spoke about these beliefs; they simply lived them because that is who they were. Pretention was foreign to them. I am convinced my life is a reflection of those two remarkable people, and I want it to be worthy of them. My greatest responsibilities have been to live a life honoring their gifts and to pass these gifts on to my children and loved ones. 

Where do I go from here?  The journey is far from over, and I don’t get to choose when it ends. I have lived the last 40 years embracing the life I felt called to live. Perhaps it is time to recommit myself to that task.

After 76 years I’m still standing on their shoulders.