LOVE-MARRIAGE-FAMILY
Love between
a man and a woman is an illogical, irrational phenomenon that is far beyond my
ability to describe or explain. I
would strongly recommend the seventh letter in Rilke’s Letters to a Young
Poet. (I recommend that you read all of those letters.) Having said this let me offer just a
few observations on the subject.
Love is hard
work. Falling in love can be quite
easy; it is maintaining that love that demands our time and energies. Don’t expect it just to happen; people
can change in significant ways over the years, and if left unattended, love can
be victimized by these changes.
Love should
be gracious and spacious, allowing ample room for individual growth. One of the
most important responsibilities in a loving relationship is to enable one
another to become the person they are intended to be. Love exists for us to serve others, not for us to be
served.
This is not
without some risk. One partner may
out grow the other, but there is a greater risk both to the person and the
marriage if growth is stifled.
There is
absolutely no place in love for oppression, and restriction. To love someone is not to possess them.
Apply these
same principles to your relationship with your children. Respect and trust your child for the
individual person that he or she is.
Drench them with love, guide them with a consistent but light hand,
allowing them to make
mistakes. They will anyway, and it
is always easier for them if they can count on your love, understanding, and
forgiveness.
Love does
not preclude other significant relationships. One person cannot be expected to be everything to the
other. A strong, loving
relationship is not threatened by other relationships.
You can
never say, “I love you” too often or too loud.
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